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A Domestic Dictionary

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IS FOR …

 

 

Appetite     A recurring emptiness. Feed three times a day. Incurable.

Apple       A one-time mistake.

Apron     Protective garment worn while cooking and cleaning. An article of feminine liberation and fulfillment.

Bed        Realm of creation and communion, rest and dreams, remembrance and forgetfulness. The best place to die.

Broom     Ancient tool of enlightenment.  

Career     Cause of mindless and repetitive drudgery.

Cup-ee     Drinking vessel for children. The contents turn hair into threads of gold.

Dandelion Greens     A cheap and nutritious herb. A symbol of poverty embraced.

Domus Economicus      A home run on rationalism and principles of industrial efficiency. A factory with one product: energy.

Dust    Fragments of everything.

High Heel     Once a delightful setting for the female foot, now a clickety-clack, clickety-clacking shoe of matriarchal oppressors and organizational fanatics with all the charm of a Prussian boot.

Home     Human island in a hostile sea. The birthplace of civilization. The foundry of thoughts.

Love    A vision of good. Various, but one. Non-refundable and Tax-free. Eternal.   

Overstuffed Pillow    The lethal paunch of a middle-aged man who lives on pizza and microwaveable popcorn.

Purgatory, Real     A place where souls await Paradise, recalling sin and thirsting for light. 

Purgatory, Retail   Large, fluorescent-lit warehouse owned by global giant. Scene of confusion, indecision and existential dread.

Tickler    Implement of torture, similar to a riding crop, used by domestic tyrants to beat children and men. (See Great Expectations.)

Vow     A promise made in ignorance, kept in wisdom. 

Whisk    A tool for dispersing mental sediment. Also used to mix sauces and whip cream. 

Yeast    Living organism and leavener. Reliable friend.

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