The Thinking 

From the Mail

May 24, 2012


JOSEPH S. writes:

Thank you for all the good work you are doing on your blog.

My own Mother stayed at home to raise me and my five siblings. She is highly intelligent and, if she had been so inclined, I am sure that she could have had a career and even achieved what the world considers success. But what she has achieved by being a Mother, by cooperating with my Father and with our Father in heaven in the holy sacrament of marriage, goes beyond the temporal and into the eternal. She assisted God in bringing into existence six immortal human beings who have been baptized into the Lord’s divine life of grace. Furthermore, my oldest brother has become a Catholic priest. Are the goods of this world comparable to the beauty of even one human soul after if has been cleansed and fortified by the Lord’s sacraments? If not then what of six?

Mrs. Wood, by honoring Christian motherhood you honor my own mother and remind us all of the inestimable gifts, both natural and supernatural, that God has bestowed upon us all. Let any who denigrate motherhood gaze upon our sublime Master and Lord Jesus Christ, He Who payed motherhood an ineffable honor by being born of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I pray that the most high Father will bless you abundantly in time and in eternity.

 Laura writes:

Thank you very much.

I’d like to amplify one point you make: “by honoring Christian motherhood you honor my own mother.”

Feminism has portrayed the women of the past as weak, passive and stupid, and there is positively no way to reconcile respect for our forebears with the tenets of feminism.

To feminists, our grandmothers and great-grandmothers were servile. This is a lie. There is a world of difference between servility and service. If women were so universally and innately servile, how could they ever have possessed the ability to emerge from the dark prison of domestic slavery?

About the endless lies of feminism, enough can’t be said.

Thank you again.


—-  Comments —-

Regina Jane writes:

This idea of the “world of difference between servility and service” is something I’ve recently stumbled upon. Since I’m married to a man who tends to abuse his authority, I tend to understand where the feminists get their crazy ideas. But they are still totally backward, as you say.

I came to my understanding with the word “submission.” It dawned on me that being submissive and being constantly submitting are two different things. A woman, particularly a mother, has instincts, strong instincts. The Holy Spirit tells her things as she spends her entire day, day after day, tending to all the needs of her children, and her opinions on matters in regard to the children should be valued and greatly respected. In fact, she has many instincts in many areas and these ideas should certainly be respected. It is very dangerous to the marriage if a woman is continually forced and submitting in every decision. Were it not for the Holy Spirit, and my understanding of His presence within my soul, I would not have come to this understanding.

 It seems that the vast majority of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers considered God a trustworthy friend, and this was key.

A reader writes:

Regina Jane writes “It is very dangerous to the marriage if a woman is continually forced and submitting in every decision.”

Some husbands do not even realize they are doing this to their wives. For years my husband has asked me my opinion or preference, then has told me he is making a decision along those lines and talked up expectations and anticipation in my emotional female mind, then has done the exact opposite. (He is not a mean man.) This resulted in so much disappointment that I stopped having an opinion on many decisions he had to make (car, house, move or not, etc.) when asked, and for me mentally, life got a lot easier. Recently however, while deciding about a move, he asked me in front of the children, and I just smiled and abstained from the “vote,” because it did not matter to me. This was highly offensive to him, and the children said I need to have an opinion about it, but it’s too hard and risky to, now.

(If this ends up as a comment, please make it anonymous; either way, any insight you have would be greatly appreciated, though I understand you just have “my side” of the story. We’ve been married twenty-six years, and it seems sometimes we do not understand each other: sometimes it’s humorous, sometimes not so. Maybe that’s common.)

 Laura writes:

You will never fully understand each other. Yes, that’s common.

It seems to me that your husband should have explained to you why he rejected your advice. And, you should have told him that you were hurt that he did not.

Here’s my general view of the vast majority of marital problems.

Most people don’t want to devote the time to solve them. They want them magically to go away. And they don’t go away. They require attention.

That’s not to say that all problems can be resolved in such a way as to create full accord or bliss. And, there are some marital problems that each spouse resolves internally by accepting that everything is not possible.

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