The Thinking 

My Son Has a Lesbian “Grandmother”

July 11, 2012


MELANIE writes:

I find myself in a situation similar to the one Jennifer describes, although in a much more remote manner. My own son is twenty years old; his father and I divorced when he was less than two years old due to his father’s infidelity. I remarried several years ago, after my son’s father had divorced the other woman – a woman with whom he did father another son. Shortly thereafter, my son’s father remarried once more, this time to the daughter of a lesbian and self-professed “Christian.” She was once married to a heterosexual man, which resulted in the birth of her daughter and other children, but obviously decided at some point that she is a lesbian, and divorced the children’s father.

This woman now refers to herself as my son’s “Grandmother,” although she is not related to him by blood or adoption. She flaunts her lesbian relationship with her partner and her homosexual male friends, hosting pool parties for my ex-husband and his entire family, including my son. She attended my son’s high school graduation ceremony, and was “in charge” of throwing his graduation party. All of this is supposed to be accepted and spoken of as if this lesbian “Grandmother” were part of a totally normal traditional family. I find it disturbing and disgusting, and my ex-husband knows this.

My son is aware that I am a Christian (Protestant evangelical, if we must use a label), and he is well aware of my disgust with this woman and her lifestyle, especially where it concerns her homosexual male friends and other “fag hags” that hang around with them. His father has been violent in speech toward me for speaking out against normalizing this sort of relationship to our son. He even threated to sue me for “defamation of character”; I laughed at this absurd statement, and thus, we have not spoken again on the phone since the incident.

Thankfully, my son lives away from his father in an apartment with another young man, and he is engaged in his work and living a productive and normal lifestyle, most decidedly heterosexual. He is a Christian, but he is a “fence-sitter” in a lot of areas, and does not speak out boldly.

What does one do in such a situation? I cannot insist that my grown son stay away from his endorsed “Grandmother,” and my ex-spouse is militant and uncooperative, although he, too, professes to be a born-again Christian.

I feel deeply for Jennifer. I would side with those who say to cut off all contact now, while the children are very young.

Laura writes:

This boggles the mind. When Obama and Hillary Clinton lecture the nation about the need to embrace homosexuality, they always present the bullied young teenager as their mascot, not the bullying lesbian “grandmother.”

Fortunately, you can separate yourself and your other children from these people. However, you will have to be prepared for the unpleasant possibility that you won’t attend your son’s wedding someday.

—- Comments —–

Jane S. writes:

Okay, since we’re exchanging lesbian bully stories, here’s mine: When I was in my early 20s, I knew a woman I’ll call Nancy. She was the older sister of a friend of mine. This was when the homosexual rights terrorist movement was still in its infancy.

Nancy married a guy and had five kids, one right after the other. This was back when the whole “earth mother” thing was popular. She and her husband were part of the back-to-the-land hippie movement. They lived out on a farm and rode motorcycles and grew their own pot. They were way too cool for the rest of us boring middle-class squares. Nancy denied that she ever enjoyed being intimate with her husband, but I found that hard to believe.

Then when her youngest child was still a baby, she decided to split up with her husband because he was too crazy for her, and maybe he was, the guy had done way too much LSD. Then she came out as a lesbian. Everybody was like, “Yeah, okay, Nancy, whatever.” This was in the Bible Belt, mind you. Nancy did as she pleased. She was never ostracized or forced to wear a scarlet letter.

Nancy claimed that she was a lesbian because she loved women, but I doubted that, too. It had more to do with hating men. She would say the most vicious things about men. She would openly attack men, across the dinner table at Thanksgiving — excepting the men in her family, including her four sons. Her male relatives were beyond criticism; everyone else’s were fair game.

She didn’t really love women, either. Not really. Any woman who enjoyed the company of men was a weak, contemptible slave to the male patriarchy.

She was the most hating, hate-filled person I have ever known. She was a one-woman cult. She could make Dan Savage seem like somebody nice.

Another thing she would bully people about was her status as a single mother. Being a single mother–which was her choice–caused her to suffer more than others, and it made her morally superior to everyone else. There’s a heady drama to playing that role and she obviously enjoyed it a lot.

I didn’t take her seriously at the time, mainly because she was so over the top. I never guessed that anyone would ever take her seriously. How could they? She was so extreme.

As time went on, and the homosexual rights lobby gained momentum, I heard more and more rhetoric that reminded me of Nancy. And as single moms began emerging as the social bullies they are, again, I was often reminded of Nancy. I thought, good heavens, I keep hearing people who sound like Nancy. How can this be? She was nuts.

Of course, Nancy was a harbinger of things to come. I just didn’t see that then. I think a lot of people didn’t.

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