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How Many Pizzas Does It Take to Win the Presidency?

 

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Vincent C. writes:

This photo has cast doubt not only on the GOP standard bearer’s credentials, but on his culinary taste as well. In short, can I vote for this man?

A trained (in Naples – Italy, not Florida) eye would first note that the pizza is served on what appears to be a board, not on plates, and there are no utensils to cut and ingest this food fit for the gods. How uncouth; how uncivil. Secondly, the thinness of the crust demonstrates that the pizza was not only poorly made, but poorly textured as well by the fast food purveyors of such a blasphemous attempt to duplicate the true art. Third, why in the name of Zeus are there those unappealing bits of “pepperoni” (in Italian, “pepperoni” denotes a pepper, not a sausage meat), sprinkled on top? Proof positive of someone indifferent or untutored in the art of pizza consuming.

While I am fully aware that Mr. Romney is a dedicated member of the Church of the Latter Day Saints and does not imbibe alcohol, (a “Jack Mormon” to the contrary) to have bottles of soda alongside the pizza raises a serious concern for his ability to do things in a manner in which Benvenuto Cellini – of the Cellini Cup – called, la sprezzatura, – the Italian ability to accomplish artistic feats of genius with minimal effort and with great panache.

Before I retire to my bed, I must first visit my basement for an appropriate tasting of the nectar of the gods to ease my disappointment with all this. I may not be a presidential candidate, but I believe I know a thing or two about the consumption of pizza, and its appropriate companion. Antonin Scalia for President!

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