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A Black Woman’s View of Interracial Marriage

 

NESSIE writes:

I read some of your posts on interracial marriage and would like to add my voice from a black perspective (I am a black woman).

A black male friend of mine was recently engaged to a white girl. I had a weird visceral reaction to the news, but could not put it into words until recently.

My friend is a man of integrity and character, highly respected within his circles. He is very well educated and has an attractive paycheck. He is Christian, given to the study of the scriptures, personal study of theology, and prayer. Though relatively young, he is a church leader, often teaching in his church and in others. I am most impressed by his good grip on the scriptures and on theology. For me this is particularly attractive in a man as it shows that he will ably lead his family spiritually and wash his wife with the water of the word.

One day, a beautiful white woman walked into his life and he quickly proposed to her, even though she didn’t possess half his virtue or chastity. Whereas I didn’t really see him as a potential mate (I was in a budding relationship with someone else before we met), I have felt a slight feeling of betrayal by their relationship.

With a significant percentage of black men incarcerated, or from broken and dysfunctional homes, very few are able to take responsibility as husbands and fathers. Good black men are very highly coveted by black women. Moreover, in the West, the white woman is regarded as the epitome of beauty, a standard that particularly hurts black women. Many feel that, in a world where they are unappreciated, black men should at least affirm their beauty and value. So to see one marrying a “trophy wife” of another race feels like a stab in the chest. Plus, I’m not sure she realizes, at least from a black woman’s perspective, how lucky she is. Any black woman would be elated to be with this man. She has told me before, though, that she feels very blessed to have a man as understanding and forgiving as he is (he has graciously forgiven her past mistakes), so it might be the case that she does.

I’ve had to deal with these negative feelings, though. I know, because he has spoken on the matter, that he spent many years fervently praying for his future wife. I’m therefore almost fully convinced that she is indeed the woman God intended for him to marry. In light of this, I have since prayerfully reassessed my feelings, as I do not want to be like Aaron and Miriam in the Bible who, out of jealousy, disapproved of a union that God approved of and consequently suffered under His wrath. If their union bears His seal of approval, I must not murmur against it, not even in my heart.

Laura writes:

Thank you for writing.

Your story confirms what I have said before, and that is that while whites consider interracial marriage to be the acme of multicultural generosity and the greatest possible manifestation of Christian charity, the same is not true of black women. Or Asian men. Both groups tend to disfavor interracial marriage, and for good reason. To those women who have told me that I am a viciously hateful person and should be sent to a labor camp, or better yet immediately executed, for questioning interracial marriage, I would like to know how they would respond to Nessie’s story. Is Nessie an evil racist? Will they send Nessie and other black women who object to interracial marriage long, hateful notes telling them how hateful they are?

Nessie writes:

In light of this, I have since prayerfully reassessed my feelings, as I do not want to be like Aaron and Miriam in the Bible who, out of jealousy, disapproved of a union that God approved of and consequently suffered under His wrath. If their union bears His seal of approval, I must not murmur against it, not even in my heart.

Once this couple is married, it would be wrong for you to “murmur against it.” But I don’t see how their engagement is a “union that God [has] approved of.” It is reasonable for you to express yourself to your friend beforehand and to decline to celebrate their marriage.

Nessie’s comments are an interesting counterpart to the post by a young black man who wrote that he is thinking of looking for a white wife.

—- Comments —-

John writes:

Interracial marriage, like homosexuality, is rebellion against God’s created order. That’s why leftists and other God haters promote it so vociferously. To my mind, opposition to interracial marrage does not imply hostility to other races, but rather a special affection for one’s lineage, past and future. The ultimate consequence of racial blending is confusion, and God is not the author of confusion.

Regina H. writes:

John writes “Interracial marriage, like homosexuality, is rebellion against God’s created order.”

I’ve been a bit puzzled as I’ve followed this post and those from a few weeks ago regarding interracial marriage. I would agree that there are huge cautions to be considered when contemplating an interracial marriage, simply because of the difference of cultures, etc.; but what verses can you point to in scripture that would forbid such a marriage?

Laura writes:

This article at the website Faith and Heritage explains why, based on the Bible and an understanding of the created order, Protestants historically viewed interracial as generally wrong though acceptable in some circumstances. As far as I know, the Catholic Church has never formally proscribed interracial marriage. Interracial marriage was illegal in most states in the U.S. before 1948 and was ruled unconstitutional by the Supreme Court in 1967.

Laura adds:

The scriptural issue aside, if one believes that the existence of different races is good, and an aspect of God’s superabundance and creativity, then intra-racial marriage is one way of preserving this wholesome diversity.

L.R. writes:

Here in Panama and in many other Latino countries, there is a significant percentage of Latino men incarcerated or from broken and dysfunctional homes, and also very few are able to take responsibility as husbands and fathers. Therefore, good Latino men are  highly coveted by Latino women like myself.

The very few well-educated and good Latino men are being taken by white Caucasian foreign women who are living here in Panama. At the same time, the very few decent and educated Latino women are running off with white Caucasian foreign men.

So even though I have nothing against straight interracial romance, I still understand the bad influence of commercial and Hollywood propaganda, which is promoting it.

As for John’s comment, it’s wrong to compare heterosexual interracial marriage to homosexual and others kinds of sexual deviations/detrimental marriage. They are NOT the same thing, specially since homosexuality is not natural at all.

 Laura writes:

I agree that interracial marriage is not at all in the same category as homosexuality.

John writes:

I agree with L.R. that interracial marriage and sodomy are not the same thing, yet both in their own way and degree still defy the order of creation. The racial varieties of human beings either came about through atheistic evolution, or through God’s Providence. If we believe it was the latter, we should respect those distinctions.

Pan Dora writes:

Nessie writes:

Any black woman would be elated to be with this man.

So where were all the black women prior to him meeting this white girl?

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