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A Not-Very-Benevolent Sexist Pig

 

READERS are racking up very poor scores in the sexism test mentioned in the previous entry. Terry Morris comes in at the very bottom on his “benevolent sexism” score.

Mr. Morris writes:

I often act as though I’m going to be a gentleman and hold the door open for my wife, then suddenly close it in her face just as she is about to go through. The more people there are around to witness this, the more likely I am to do it. But she’s starting to catch on. Likewise with letting her into our vehicle in a parking lot after shopping. I like to drive around the parking lot a few times, while she stands next to where the passenger-side door of our vehicle once was, looking like an idiot. While shopping together, when I’m not tripping her, I spend most of my time shoving her into someone coming from the opposite direction, or otherwise making her appear to others as a complete moron for having chosen me as her … partner.

No intervention needed here! :-)

—- Comments —-

John Purdy writes:

You’d have to be a Saint and a total feminist to come off well in that test. Here’s a true story that illustrates why chivalry isn’t what it used to be.

In 2006 I was living in Los Angeles. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was hanging out at the local Starbucks with a small circle of friends, an American couple and a British woman. We were sitting on the terrace, drinking our coffee and smoking cigarettes (OH NO) when I noticed a young Hispanic woman, probably 20, crying and begging passersby for help. She was brusquely rejected by all. After 15 minutes of this I decided I had to intervene. To my horror, I discovered she had a deep gash in the palm of her right hand which was bleeding profusely. Admittedly taken aback, I called on Joy, a woman who had served in the British Army and had EMT training, to assist me. She commandeered a wet dishrag from the kitchen crew and applied pressure to staunch the bleeding.

I decided to call 911. Big mistake. As it turned out it was a domestic violence (DV) incident so the call was routed to the LAPD. They showed up, a few minutes later, eight men, including one armed with an M80 10 gauge assault shotgun, their pistol flaps unlocked. I was shocked. In Toronto DV incidents are responded to by two police constables. One man and one woman. The man talks to the man and the woman talks to the woman. If they can’t cool things down they fall back and call for backup. That’s not how LAPD does business. Massive force from the beginning. That’s LAPD.

Long story, made short. They arrested her father, the sole breadwinner in the family, thereby reducing the family’s income. All because I wanted to help someone in trouble.

My American friend, who was a few years older than I, who was among the last draftees to serve in Viet Nam, advised me: “John, I understand what you were trying to do but don’t. She could’ve been high on crack, she might have a knife and stab you. Don’t help people in LA.”

That’s why chivalry is dead.

John D. writes:

I live in the South which is steeped in chivalry/benevolent sexism. I wonder how long that is going to last? When I was living out West, I used to open doors for women and I have had the door slammed on my face more than once. This is dehumanizing and stripping us of our good habits, kindness, upbringing, culture and mores and turning us into worse than cave men. We are heading towards the dark ages surrounded by intellectual pygmies, mediocrity and an uncivilized degenerate culture.

Roger G. writes:

Why is Mr. Morris allowing his wife to walk beside him, instead of in her proper place – five steps behind?

Robin writes:

John D. writes:

I live in the South which is steeped in chivalry/benevolent sexism. I wonder how long that is going to last? When I was living out West, I used to open doors for women and I have had the door slammed on my face more than once. This is dehumanizing and stripping us of our good habits, kindness, upbringing, culture and mores and turning us into worse than cave men. We are heading towards the dark ages surrounded by intellectual pygmies, mediocrity and an uncivilized degenerate culture.

Oh, how I understand what he writes. Raised in the South, but now living my seventh year in the Upper Midwest, I can attest that I encountered absolute culture shock upon moving here.

Polite people are rarely encountered. The men are brutes; I can see why, because the women are so terribly rude (and they look exactly like the men physically and in choice of dress!) Of course, I am speaking in gross generalities, but it is truth, nonetheless.

“Sir” and “Ma’am” are replaced by “Yup” and “Nope” as responses, no matter where you are. I have dined at fast food establishments and fine, upscale restaurants with white tablecloths, and the answer is always “Yup” from the employee or server.

When I was still in the workforce before having small children, I would use, “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, Sir” when speaking with my clients. They ALL asked me if I had been in the military (I am a ridiculously feminine woman of very delicate frame; that truly would have been strange), and they were shocked when I told them, “No, I was just raised in the South.” Often they would reply, “Oh, I thought people were stupid in the South and there aren’t any universities, are there? So how did you learn to speak and write so well, and dress so nicely?” Seriously, now, do people from the Northern U.S. really never actually visit the South, and realize that it’s not a cesspool of ignorance and filth?

In any event, if my sweet, Midwestern-native husband could tolerate the heat, we’d move in a heartbeat – there are far more employment opportunities in the South for him at better wages; housing costs including property taxes are much lower; there is no state income tax in my home state; food is dramatically less expensive.

Nevertheless, I keep with the “Sir” and “Ma’am” – you should see the look on people’s faces (especially women) when I call my husband Sir.

By the way, I scored as an absolute feminist’s nightmare on your test: 5 and 1.8, respectively. What does this say about a woman?

Laura writes:

I think it means she hates herself.

John Venlet writes:

Robin writes, “Nevertheless, I keep with the “Sir” and “Ma’am”…”

I applaud her in taking this stance. Just because everyone else is jumping off the cliff does not mean she should.

I appreciated Mr. Pollack making me aware of this ridiculousness (benevolent sexism).

John D. responds to Robin:

I am in the midst of my fourth year in the South. I very quickly got used to addressing people with the “Sir” and “Ma’am” salutations. I still open doors for the women and help them where I can. The day I get balked at by some Southern feminist, I will discontinue that practice. I do enjoy the closeness to family and extended family and the laid-back lifestyle of the South. It was culture shock for me as well, moving from the West to the South. The winters are not bad since it is just for two short months but the summers are hot and too humid and it takes a lot to get used to it. Finally, the country music is growing on me and I am not too far from Music City.

Henry McCulloch writes:

I just took the test as well. HS: 3.4/BS: 4.5. I have no idea what that really means.

Laura writes:

Your hostile score seems high.

But I haven’t looked at this test closely.

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