My husband and I have just found out that I am pregnant again. It’s my third pregnancy; the other two ended in miscarriage. My husband has just taken a job with a 50 percent pay cut and no benefits because it allows him time to build his own business. I’m 24 years old, we’re newlyweds in a new city, and I’m very scared, albeit happy. I am worried about how we’ll manage. Please pray for me, the baby, the understanding of our family and friends, that I will be able to quit work and stay home, and the success of my husband’s business venture. Thank you.
It is frightening to attempt a traditional life and I have great sympathy for your apprehensions. All around you everyone is telling you it is impossible. Basic living is so very expensive. It takes courage and heroism to plan to live on your husband’s income in this culture. It takes great strength. But it’s extremely important for you to reject your fears. What you are attempting to do is as natural and right as the sun and the moon and the stars overhead. The birds of the air manage to build their nests on austere ledges and outcroppings. Your love, your tenderness and your desire for domestic harmony will make a home of the most barren of settings. Nothing, not even the high cost of living, need thwart you from your inner convictions and the knowledge of what is right. Put aside your worries and trust in God.
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Matthew 6:25-26 (KJV)
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Jill Farris writes:
Dear precious young mother,
Yes, you will survive. You will learn more about your heavenly Father through seeing His provision. You will see your husband mature as a man as he rightfully shoulders the responsibilities of a family.
I was in the same situation as you when our first baby was born. We were in a new city. I had had a difficult birth and was anemic, I was lonely…but, oh, the joy of waking up to the face of our little daughter! Every day I told myself that if I could just get through the lonely morning until “Focus on the Family” came on the radio! I got great encouragement from listening to that program. I grew in my resolve as a mother and wife.
We didn’t have an extra car so baby and I strollered around a lot together. Days were long but precious because little Lorna grew so quickly. We have eight children now, Lorna is 27 and my husband was just laid off from his job … again. Yes, we have endured many job changes, moves and financial ups and downs. We have learned not to take on debt, to live on what he makes, to save the best we can and to give thanks for what we have. We still are very, very rich compared to the entire world. We can read, we can write. Our children are well educated at home. They are secure and opinionated and love the Lord. The one consistency in their lives has been mom at home with them.
God is a faithful God. Laura is right. You are doing what is natural and right. You are also affecting the culture by doing this! You will have lots of ridiculous things said to you by others as they tell you they “wish” they could “afford” to stay at home. Stand firm. Cheerfully encourage your husband as he shoulders the financial burden but don’t feel guilty about allowing him to take it. My husband had to adjust. Now he is deeply proud that he has been our provider!
May God bless and keep you!