A SOCIETY that normalizes homosexuality is a cruel society.

Imagine a society that celebrated alcoholism and encouraged alcoholics to embrace their addiction. Imagine the covering over of the resulting disasters with platitudes of love. Then magnify that a hundredfold. For the affliction of the artificially-created homosexual is far worse, alienated as he is from the most basic roles and bonds of society.

The heartless modern world consigns him or her to an unhappy state — without exception. The more homosexuality is normalized, the more homosexuals convert their inner conflict into “pride.” The person who identifies as a homosexual will always be in deep conflict, and the acute awareness of this causes pain that no homosexual “community” can assuage.

But there is hope.

In the introduction to Dutch psychologist Gerard van den Aardweg’s 1985 book on this subject, Homosexuality and Hope: A Psychologist Talks about Treatment and Change, Paul Vitz writes:

Homosexuals are not condemned to a way of life that alienates, separates, and restricts a person greatly. Once we see and understand homosexuality as something like these other psychological problems from which one can recover, our perception changes in two ways. The homosexual is given hope for change and, at the same time, there is a kind of acceptance of the homosexual as part of normal, human society and, like the rest of us, subject to pathology. This is particularly true when we see homosexuality as a condition from which one can recover and in the process, God willing, become a stronger person for having successfully met the challenge. This needs to be emphasized.

Van den Aardweg, who wrote a later version of this book called The Battle for Normality, published his insights decades before there was “gay marriage” and he obviously did not fully anticipate how little his warnings and those of others would be heeded. Though this book is somewhat dated in this sense, its basic observations and insights remain true and often profound.

There is no such thing as an innate homosexual, van den Aardweg argues.

The knowledge we have at our disposal indicates that homosexually inclined persons are born with the same physical and psychological equipment as anyone else. It is no proof of an innately “different” nature, for example, that a certain percentage of men with homosexual feelings impress one as unmanly, even effeminate, in their behavior and interests. This is an effect of upbringing or of a learned view of themselves, a learned self-image. The “mannish” woman with lesbian feelings is not that way by natural disposition, but by habit and a specific inferiority complex. There are, on the other hand, distinctly “womanly,” “feminine” lesbians whom few people would suspect of these feelings at first glance.

In societies where sex roles and the differentiation between boys and girls are strong, there is almost no incidence of homosexual behavior. The homosexual condition is caused by confusion and a blurring of these roles. Feminism and the endless propaganda to make men and women the same has inevitably led to a plague of confusion. It is no wonder that many people are caught in a trap of unnatural desires.

The homosexual is typically afflicted with self-pity and defeatism. This self-pity is often the most serious problem he faces, van den Aardweg states. In this the homosexually-inclined are not alone; many people suffer from this tendency. In these cases the tragic role the person who identifies as a homosexual believes he is playing enhances self-pity:

The youngsters hardly ever realize that they have fixed a rather definitive label on themselves with this “self-identification” and assigned themselves to a second-class and in fact excluded status. Some may take on a proud attitude and even pose as superior to ordinary mankind, but for all their show of being perfectly content with their “orientation” they inwardly realize that their “being different” is an inferior form of sexuality. It may be soothing to belong to a well-described minority and feel at home among similarly oriented people, free from the difficult need to keep up with the heterosexual world. The toll for this, however, is the depressing fatalism that is implicit in this newly acquired identity: “I am just that way.” The young person does not think, “It is true that I have occasional or regular homosexual feelings, but basically I must have been born the same as anyone else.” No, he feels he is a different and inferior creature, who carries a doom: he ‘views himself as tragic.

Dr. Van den Aardweg offers practical steps for combating this, including the use of humor. He is understandably cautious about the use of psychotherapy. Too many therapists have been misled, but good ones can be found. He does not offer quick remedies nor is he seeking to change those with homosexual desires all into happily married heterosexuals. The first step is cultivating the will to change.

The person in this difficult and challenging state must be loved and at the same time never accepted as a homosexual, which would be an open lie. He must be turned compassionately towards the truth.

Many a girl raised to be as competitive and aggressive as a boy understandably struggles to embrace her womanliness. Many a boy who can never be the rowdy, athletic star and is surrounded by the glorification of homosexual lust understandably struggles to embrace his inherent manliness, which is always within him. If the advice in this book were combined with spiritual practices — prayer, meditation and good works — there would be hope for many of extricating themselves from this trap, even now when it seems that the normalization of homosexuality is complete and irreversible. Meditating on the mysteries of the Cross is, of course, the most effective means of escaping all psychological affliction, without exception. It takes humility to face the ways in which we enslave ourselves and to realize we simply don’t possess the power within ourselves to conquer self.

There is much more to say about the insights in this book, but I can only offer this brief overview for now. I applaud the hopefulness of this small volume, so needed today. Though it is out of print, it is available to read on the Internet for free, thanks to that magnificent resource, the Internet Archive.

My point is this. Let us never — even now when the battle seems completely lost — follow the lead of this heartless society and its blatant promotion of the lie that people are “born homosexual.” Let us never be found guilty of treating those in this condition without compassion. Few things are more cruel than to consign others to suffer in the wastelands of “homosexual liberation.” Let us speak the truth and love those wandering in the wilderness.

— Comments —

Bert writes:

Good post on homosexuality. The term alcoholism is sort of falling out of favor in the medical community, not hat there’s much there to admire or trust. They re now using the term “alcohol use disorder” and have grades of severity: mild moderated etc.

I beleive there is good evidence to prove  English speaking world does promote the addiction to alcohol. Besides the freedom to advertise it, and use psychologically manipulative messaging in the advertisements, alcohol is promoted in movies as and tv as more or less harmless. Really, our society says, “everyone’s a lush, and that’s ok and kinda cool and funny, but don’t be an alcoholic!” Whats the difference?.

Look up mommy wine jokes for a very cynical media campaign!

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